We all have found ourselves taking our children to their grandparents place. They love our children and our children absolutely love them back! But conflict usually arises because our parenting methods most often differ. So how do you go about including your parents ( your kids grandparents) in how you parent your kids?
Other than the love, there are many benefits of intergenerational parenting that include:
- Diverse environments for the children. A trip to grandma’s place is always a welcome idea by our kids. They get to travel, and go to a different place. This gives them a break from the usual home environment, friends and neighbors and introduces them to a new setting all together. They even get to make new friends!.
- Your parents are good judges of character. Let’s face it, our parents have hacked this parenting for years! They parented you and your siblings and this has given them an ability to pick challenging behavior early. Many of us parents even take our children to our parents when they start getting out of line.
- Your parents and you share common values.
But with the advantages, the fact that there is a big gap in the generation eras between our parents and us, conflicts arise. A 25 year old parent in 2021 has parents who are 40+ years. This means that the parent is a millennial and the grandparents are from a former generation.
A good example is the popular breastfeeding of a child exclusively for 6 months. Many millennials push to do this, but you will often hear the grandparents say that in their era, children were given sieved Uji and pawpaw by 2 weeks after the baby was born.
Your parents may also still view you as a child. ( You are their child after all ). This may cause them to go “alpha parent “ and try to parent both you and your child/ren.
Here are ways you can use to better manage these differences that may arise.
- Define boundaries and alert when crossed
- Assign them specific roles to give them relevance
- Align with the other parent on how to engage
- grandparents
- Adopt assertive communication: clear articulation of
- expectations, active listening
Intergenerational Parenting ensures there is continuity of culture. Grandparents teach cultural history, songs, and art. They also better explain the dynamics that have since changed eg early marriages, colonialism. Grandchildren get to relive those times via their grandparents’ teachings.
Do you incorporate your parents in parenting your children? Do make sure to join our parenting talks tomorrow at 7.30pm, and invite a friend.
Happy new month and week!